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The Chinese Astrological Guide to Sleeping Dogs, Part Three

The Horse, the Sheep and the Monkey went into a bar . . .
Maybe not, but trying to sleep with a Horse, Sheep or Monkey dog on the bed could
surely drive you to hang out late at your favorite pub!

The Horse: The Horse craves wide open spaces and loves to travel, while at the same
time craving security and affection. The dichotomy of his character often causes him
great instability and an inability to settle down or finish his endeavors, sometimes
leaving his devoted followers to finish what he began without him. Intelligent and
creative, physically active and intrinsically a dreamer, the Horse is irresistible, but can
also be willful, impetuous and supercilious while harboring secret feelings of inferiority
and insecurity that may lead him to run away from a situation or relationship rather than
confronting it and seeing it through to its resolution.

Your Horse dog is the one who snuggles up close to you when you turn out the light,
then in the midst of deepest slumber, kicks and paws at you and drives you to the edge
of the mattress. When you wake him up so you can move back away from the precipice,
he's the dog who gets up and disappears into the other room after letting you know he
is now sure, in his inmost heart, that you don't want him there and are taking him to the
pound the very next morning.

He stays outside the bedroom, snuffling and generally sounding pitiful. You call him
back. He comes, with a hang-dog expression and props his chin on the mattress,
looking at you woefully, taking a good long look at you so he can remember you during
those long hours he knows he's going to be spending in a cold, barren kennel
somewhere, waiting to be led down that last hallway. Your heart breaks, you beg him to
come back up on the bed, scoot yourself over to give him plenty of room, and he falls
asleep blissfully, paw just touching you for reassurance. You know you've been
suckered. Again.

The Sheep: Secretive, abstruse, artistic, luxury loving, aesthetic, internalized and, to
the observer, self-contained, the Sheep appears more complex to those around him
than he is because he rarely explains the free flowing thought processes swirling
around in the private recesses of his noggin.

Sensitive and high strung, the Sheep is not as self-contained as he appears and needs
constant reassurance that he is loved and cherished, but although he is self-aware, the
Sheep is not self-centered and, while needy, he will return love, reassurance and
affection with generous interest. However, without the assurance of love or in the face of
conflict, he will withdraw and continue to retreat deeply into the security of his own

Do not carelessly bump your Sheep dog on the bed! You will shatter his feelings and it
will take months of constant, lavish proof of your undying affection to rebuild his
confidence; in the meantime he will test you constantly, shifting between clingy
neediness and aloofness, staring at something invisible but engrossing on the wall just
beyond your left ear.

Not bumping this sensitive soul might be difficult, since the Sheep dog does love his
luxury and will probably be nestled right between the pillows on top of your expensive,
dry cleanable custom made comforter. Your best bet for moving him in order to get in
bed is to do so under cover of picking him up for a lavish snuggle complete with
shameless baby talk. Once you're in bed, the Sheep dog is the kind most likely to sleep
as close to you as possible, but with his back up against you. If he gets an ear rub as he
nods off it's all good.

The Monkey: The Monkey dog is the dog most likely to be crated!

Active, energetic, gregarious, fun seeking, mischief magnet that he is, the Monkey dog
can be more fun -- and trouble than the proverbial barrel of monkeys. His is woefully
lacking in self-control and his impulsive, effusive nature often leads him to overindulge
in food and drinks which, coupled with insatiable curiosity and proclivity for accidents
makes him less than welcome to share a bed.

He is the dog who will scavenge and find something salty, drink his water dish dry, then,
if he's sleeping on the bed, wake you up at three a.m. to the sound of horking, usually in
the one area of the bed where it will spread the most. If the smorgasbord stays in his
belly, he'll wake you in the midst of your soundest sleep with a fart in the face.

Give him a kong and tuck him in his crate!

This article was written by
Kathy Handerson of Where you can
find sweet deals on
Pet Stairs and  Dog Training Collars
The Chinese Astrological Guide to Sleeping Dogs:  
Part I     Part II     Part III     Part IV